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Harry: Outsmarted you? Bull, a corpse is a corpse! Harry: Bull, how could you lose a dead Japanese industrialist?īull (sheepishly): He outsmarted me, sir. I can probably think of a dozen great comedy exchanges that would fit this thread, here are a few:
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Night Court is one of my all-time favorite sitcoms.
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Specifically this one, an all-time favorite of mine:īrian: Listen to me! You are all individuals!Ĭrowd: Yes, Brian! We are all individuals! We get the warhead and we hold the world ransom for… ONE MILLION DOLLARS!īut really you could pick almost any scene from and the dialoge is great. Yeah? Good! Gentlemen, it has come to my attention that a breakaway Russian Republic called Kreplachistan will be transferring a nuclear warhead to the United Nations in a few days. Hijack some nuclear weapons and hold the world hostage. Oh hell, let’s just do what we always do. Number Two: That also already has happened.ĭr. That is, unless the world pays us a hefty ransom.
#CRACK OPEN A COLD ONE KORGUE SKIN#
Back in the 60’s, I had a weather changing machine that was, in essence, a sophisticated heat beam which we called a “laser.” Using these “lasers,” we punch a hole in the protective layer around the Earth, which we scientists call the “Ozone Layer.” Slowly but surely, ultraviolet rays would pour in, increasing the risk of skin cancer. Evil: Right, people you have to tell me these things, okay? I’ve been frozen for thirty years, okay? Throw me a frickin’ bone here! I’m the boss! Need the info.ĭr. He admitted it, and they are now divorced.ĭr. Number Two: Prince Charles did have an affair. Either the Royal Family pays us an exorbitant amount of money, or we make it seem that Prince Charles has had an affair outside of marriage and therefore would have to divorce! The Royal Family of Britain are the wealthiest landowners in the world. Bernstein won an award–for explaining the music of Igor Stravinsky– to Igor Stravinsky!ĭr. I don’t know if YOU know about it–but Mr. Written by one of America’s most beloved poets–the wonderful Jack Freeze. T: Poet writer? Boy, you’re as dumb as I am! It’s a good thing I didn’t say a couple of other words I had in mind!ĭ: All right. T: What is the word for someone who writes poems? Tommy, if you don’t know the word, don’t speak up and make a fool of yourself, ask! T: One of America’s most beloved pomists!ĭ: That isn’t right! You know the word isn’t “pomist”!ĭ: But I’m trying to give an introduction to a serious song! So why do you do that? Tommy: This is a poem–written by one of America’s most beloved pomists. Post favorite bits of dialog that got you laughing–from movies, TV, recorded comedy routines, wherever try to keep them short and if possible, don’t rely on four-letter words for the laughs…ĬLAYTON: “I call the lovely Gretchen Kraus!”īENSON “I object, Your Honor–counsel is deluding the witness!”Īmerican History–II-B (The Smothers Brothers)